Q: What tells your illiterate child that you know absolutely nothing about them?
A: Their very own Walmart gift card.

[Read more →]

I’m sorry, Palm Centro, but I do not need my Santa Claus to closely resemble an effeminate, pre-maturely greying hipster.  This Santa would single-handedly ruin Christmas for millions of boys and girls.  And there are umlauts above the “u” in Claus.  Does he think he’s a Norwegian death metal band?
“Hey Timmy, I know you wanted [...]

[Read more →]

I just saw an Arby’s commercials where the “I’m thinking Arby’s” logo that popped up above the guys head was used as symbolism for an erection.  At least I think it was.  The television was muted.

[Read more →]