For those who are looking for employment (cough), let me help you decode what the job posting titles on craigslist actually mean.

Entry Level Sales & Marketing Ninjas- Sense of Humor Req’d

You will need to be able to laugh at how pathetic your life is, because this job is a piece of shit.

Interview Today, Train Next Week, 20K Next Month!!

This job is foolproof!  See?  We used two exclamation marks!!

Seeking Mascot Performer

Pedophiles only!

*** EASY MONEY *** FOR THE RIGHT PERSON ***

***It’s so easy that only complete morons can do it***

Make money talking on the phone!

Being a telemarketer!

Are you a “PEOPLE PERSON”??

Can you also be a “DICKHEAD”??

HEY … CHECK THIS OUT !!!

HEY … THIS IS CLEARLY A WASTE OF TIME!!!

Ghost Writer Needed ASAP

I am having difficulty writing my first person vampire novel.

WE CUT THE BACON AND YOU EAT IT! - SHEEP’S FEET

Uhhh