You know the Simpsons episode where Lisa dreams that she is in the number 2 band in America with the number 2 song off their number 2 album, and everyone at their show just boos them? Yeah, I had high hopes for that last night at the Kevin Federline show, but it didn’t quite go down like that. How did it go down exactly? Read on for details, and please don’t ask me why I was there, I just was.

Fan base made up of people who are making fun of K-Fed (ie dressed up like him),girls who think he is hot and only know “Popo Zao,” actual fans and creepy white trash. i have never more so wanted to fight people at a concert, including some loser from tmz. this felt like seeing a show in the high school gym, except this time alcohol was being sold.

I yelled at every media outlet I saw outside. it was usually “pancakes,” but after the show i saw Extra interviewing a girl and i had to chime in and say “she’s lying, she told me she hated the show.” if they said good things, they are lying out of their ass or out of their mind.

People were chanting popo zao a lot. only problem, when i chanted pancakes, they looked confused. assholes.

There were 2, count em, 2 opening acts. Some two guys rapping and then some girl singing over some tracks. Of these performers, K-Fed was the only white one fyi. Man it must suck opening for him.

The place actually became somewhat crowded as the night went on. Could it be because of the free tickets?

Ok, so Kevin Federline. Terrible, i think it may have been worse than I thought it would be. here’s how the set went: perform 2 songs, leave the stage, have dj play some guaranteed popular rap songs to get the white kids jumpin’, perform 2 more songs, leave the stage, etc. He performed 7 songs in total. including “Lose Control” for the encore. I guess when the majority of songs are about your ex-wife, you’re kind of fucked.

There were two backup dancers who appear to be winging it the whole time.

K-Fed said something along the affect of “i’m checking out all these fine ladies, because i don’t know if you’ve heard, i’m a free man.” on another song, can’t remember which one, he said ex-wife. And I’m pretty sure I heard his hype man say “Fed-Ex.” Oh, and the hype man also had us do some “Fuck K-Fed” chants. How about that?

He went through all of his songs like you’d expect. Nothing much to say. He did dance for ten seconds at one point. But yeah, 7 songs? Not to mention the long wait in between him and previous opener. Were they doing sound check on the turntables?

I really did not know what to expect, and sitting here hours later I really do not know what just happened. You expect a show to be awful with some entertainment value thrown in, but it may have just been strictly awful. Note to everyone attending any other K-Fed shows, drink around 15 beers beforehand. Wait, wait, wait. Drink 15 beers beforehand, pass out in an alley and get robbed by a hobo. Trust me, you’ll have a better time.